I previously blogged about the dating culture in Korea, and after living in Korea for roughly two years, there's a lot more to it than the basics that many of us see it. In fact, there are a lot of "secretive" and under the table things going on in Korea which makes it hard to date. Let me make this clear, this does not apply to all of Korea, but there is a high percentage that fall under the following categories that make it difficult to trust and stay in a stable relationship in Korea. I am not speaking based off of my own experiences only, but the experiences of locals and foreigners in Korea and the crazy stories that I've heard as well. We all know the truth gets stretched and the story can be dramatized from person to person, but it doesn't change the fact that the following are problematic still:- Cultural differences - For those who are looking for something more long term and marrying, it is difficult to understand the Korean culture and be inviting to all of the differences, especially with the acceptance of parents. As a foreigner, the way we are brought up and the way Koreans are brought up, gender roles in terms of independence, respect, and actions are all questionable. Many times, it is difficult to find a common ground or a long-term understanding without lots of compromising and an open attitude.
- Preferability of light skin partners - This generally applies to almost all of Asia. For some reason, the lighter one's skin, the more "beautiful" he or she is which makes it unacceptable for many Westerners because we understand there is no correlation between the fairness of your skin and the beauty within. In fact, the understanding of having fair skin is different in regards to cultural history and the way media portrays beauty in each country.
- Tall and skinny is beautiful - This is a bit of a culture shock to many when they visit Korea because most people look and just might be anorexic. You will see may girls whose thighs do not touch with a huge gap that makes it unbearable for you, but it is the way of life in Korea. Muscular women and hourglass figures just aren't appreciated as much as they are elsewhere.
- Girls just want to have fun - As ridiculous as this sounds, it may be harder and harder to find the fitting Korean girl. No longer are they all as "innocent" as the world sees them, hidden behind their dolly makeup and innocent look. Girls are more open to flirting and will do so with more than one person at a time which causes quite a lot of heartbreaks, and the next problem on the list
- Trust issues - Statistics label Koreans to be one of the highest cheating individuals. As sad as it is to say, it just may be true. Witnessing first hand girls with boyfriends who go out on dates with other guys, messaging other guys and just lying about where they are, trust is a big issue. There are also guys who drop of their girlfriends at home and go out with the guys for drinks but it sometimes just doesn't end up as a simple bro hangout. Unfortunately to say the least, not everyone is persistent in staying away from engaging in "other" relationships sober or not.
- The control freak - There has been many instances where your significant other will ask you what you are doing every second of the day. Expect a lot of Kakao talk messages, phone calls, and of course, seeing your significant other on any day off. Now for some of us, it is a sign of care and love, but for many Westerners, it is something that is unbearable.
- Working hours - It is crazy how much time one spends on their jobs because the way the culture works. For this very reason, the amount of time that you can actually spend with your partner is limited. In fact, there are many times when one will have to work late hours or into the weekends. There goes your love life.
- It's a materialistic place - Not everyone is out there chasing luxury brands in Korea, but there's a lot of things that you need to pay attention to. Rather than celebrating the one month anniversary, they have 100 day anniversary. Get counting. Their Valentines Day also has a little twist and throughout the year, there are a ton of couple holidays (Christmas being another). Point is, be ready to spend and invest a lot of time in gifts and thinking or go with the cliche and get the couple items.
- The STEREOTYPE - I applaud many of my friends for actually being able to tie the knot and or get into serious relationships in Korea. The reason for this is that many hold the stereotypes that foreigner guys do not want anything serious, they are only out to have fun. Another problem is that many Koreans think that foreigner girls are easy. Hence, they don't take us too serious and are always looking for some way to get into your pants. UGH.
Korea, it's a love hate relationship, more love than hate though :]
